Student's Writing Correction- Paragraph

Rewriting Paragraph Correctly

This process began with an analysis of a student's paragraph about a school magazine. The student showed a strong understanding of the topic, accurately describing the magazine's purpose, structure, and contents. However, the writing contained significant and consistent errors in three main areas:

Spelling (e.g., "schoole," "memorles," "achivement")

Grammar (e.g., "magazine consist")

Word Choice (e.g., "refers the old memoried")

The Correction Process

A multi-layered correction was applied to provide a comprehensive learning tool.

1. 
   

   Heading Correction: The original heading, "A schoole magazine ", was corrected to the standard

   
   

   "A School Magazine".

2. Sentence-by-Sentence Correction: Each of the student's original sentences was rewritten in several different ways. This was done not just to fix the errors but to demonstrate linguistic flexibility, offering a range of vocabulary and sentence structures the student could use in the future.

3. Model Paragraph Creation: The student's own ideas and information were synthesized into a new, polished paragraph. This final text serves as a model answer, showing how the original content can be expressed clearly and correctly in an academic style.

   
   
   
   

Example of Correction:

Incorrect Heading

"A schoole magazine "

Corrected Heading

• A School Magazine

• The School Magazine

1. Original Sentence

: "A schoole magazine magazine refers the old memoried of school"

• Corrected: A school magazine evokes old memories of school life.

• Corrected: The purpose of a school magazine is to bring back memories of school.

• Corrected: A school magazine serves as a chronicle of old school memories.

2. Original Sentence

: "The magazine is made for reyognizing the old memorles of the old day."

• Corrected: The magazine is produced to commemorate memories from bygone days.

• Corrected: Its purpose is to help readers recognize and cherish old memories.

• Corrected: This publication is designed for remembering the memories of the past.

3. Original Sentence

: "A school song magazine consist of the results of the Students identity, the history of the school, studert's teachers identity etc."

• Corrected: A school magazine comprises several sections, including the school's history, profiles of students and teachers, and a list of student achievements.

• Corrected: The contents of a school magazine consist of the school's history, information about its students and teachers, and student accomplishments.

• Corrected: A school magazine is composed of institutional history, student and teacher identities, and a record of student achievements, among other things.

4. Original Sentence

: "In a magazine studerta can express thin poeetry, literature also their greatfull drawing."

• Corrected: The magazine provides a platform for students to express themselves through poetry, literature, and artful drawings.

• Corrected: Within the magazine, students can share their creative works, such as poetry, literature, and skillful drawings.

• Corrected: Students use the magazine to publish their poetry and literature, as well as to showcase their impressive drawings.

5. Original Sentence

: "The Coverpay e of the magazine teg dengimed with the theme of the country."

• Corrected: The magazine's cover page is designed to reflect a national theme.

• Corrected: The cover is typically created with a theme related to the country.

• Corrected: A national theme is used in the design of the magazine's cover page.

6. Original Sentence

: "It Repuese represents the origin country of that school."

• Corrected: It symbolizes the school's home country.

• Corrected: This design represents the school's country of origin.

• Corrected: The cover is meant to represent the nation where the school is located.

7. Original Sentence

: "The front inner consist of the greetings of the head westen, directon the heads of the school."

• Corrected: The inside front cover contains greetings from the headmaster and directors, who are the heads of the school.

• Corrected: Messages from the school's leadership, like the headmaster and directors, are featured on the opening pages.

• Corrected: The magazine begins with greetings from key figures such as the headmaster and school directors.

8. Original Sentence

: "The bay magazine stants with the supporting tenerent Starfs, teachers, clanks also security."

• Corrected: The magazine opens by acknowledging its supporting staff, including teachers, clerks, and security personnel.

• Corrected: It starts with a section dedicated to thanking the support staff, teachers, clerks, and security guards.

• Corrected: The initial pages offer recognition for the supporting staff, from teachers and clerks to security members.

9. Original Sentence

: "Tren it Shows the achivement of the Students, school ete."

• Corrected: Afterward, it showcases the achievements of the students and the school.

• Corrected: Following this, the magazine highlights the accomplishments of its students and the school itself.

• Corrected: The next section is dedicated to showing the achievements of the school and its students.

10. Original Sentence

: "In this port all Pear Studerts Shows theite marretiorious activity"

• Corrected: In this part, students from every year showcase their meritorious activities.

• Corrected: This section is where students display their most commendable work.

• Corrected: Here, the praiseworthy activities of the student body are presented.

11. Original Sentence

: "They draw picture, write poem Joke Story, etc."

• Corrected: Student contributions include drawings, poems, jokes, stories, and more.

• Corrected: They contribute various works like pictures, poems, jokes, and stories.

• Corrected: Their submissions range from visual art to written pieces like poems, jokes, and stories.

12. Original Sentence

: "Some wrote HIR OR thriller adventanous Story"

• Corrected: Some students write stories in genres like horror, thriller, and adventure.

• Corrected: The stories submitted often include adventurous tales, thrillers, and horror.

• Corrected: Among the written works are adventurous, thrilling, and scary stories.

13. Original Sentence

: "They wrote Jorky expinience from one Place to another."

• Corrected: They write about their travel experiences.

• Corrected: Students also contribute articles about their journeys.

• Corrected: They share stories about the experiences they have while traveling.

14. Original Sentence

: "At last they the magazine shows the Activements of the the country then it finished."

• Corrected: Finally, the magazine showcases national achievements before it concludes.

• Corrected: Toward the end, the magazine highlights the accomplishments of the country.

• Corrected: The magazine concludes with a section on the nation's achievements.

15. Original Sentence

: "A school myazine represents the condition of the school with their way Of terching etc."

• Corrected: A school magazine reflects the school's overall status, including its teaching methods.

• Corrected: The publication represents the general condition of the school and its approach to teaching.

• Corrected: Overall, a school magazine serves as a symbol of the school's health and educational philosophy.

The School Magazine

A school magazine is an important publication that serves as a detailed record of an institution's life and identity, helping students and staff to recall old memories. The content is carefully structured, often beginning with a cover page designed with a national theme that represents the school's country of origin. The opening pages typically feature welcoming messages from the school's leadership, such as the headmaster and directors, alongside acknowledgments for the dedicated support staff, including teachers, clerks, and security personnel. Core sections of the magazine are dedicated to chronicling the school's history and celebrating the various achievements of both the students and the institution as a whole. The heart of the magazine is its literary section, which provides a vibrant platform for students to express their creativity and share their meritorious work. Here, one can find a rich variety of student contributions, ranging from poetry, jokes, and skillful drawings to stories spanning genres like adventure, thriller, and horror. Students also share personal articles about their travel experiences and write about interesting fun facts. Before it ends, the magazine often includes a section highlighting significant national achievements, placing the school within a broader context. Ultimately, a school magazine acts as a mirror, reflecting the overall condition of the school, its unique character, and its distinct approach to teaching.